Thanks mate, I have my fingers crossed. I’ve had a couple of good days so far this week so I hope this keeps up. I’m in two minds whether to go through with requesting to change teams now because of these good days. I have a massive support network from a fair few workmates (all in different teams) who think I should just bite the bullet and go for it. It’s my health and well being I have to look out for too.

matigo.ca.

I’m not. There are other people that have recently moved from other teams to mine that feel the negative energy. Trouble is, when the reshuffle happened I was still heavily reliant on my sit stand desk because of my knee. I was adamant I didn’t want to move. At that time I had a different team leader that was quite supportive and now the regular one is back, I’ve hit rock bottom again in terms of self worth and motivation. Overall team morale has taken a beating too.

matigo.ca.

Agreed. Hate the idea of going back to hell tomorrow. I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack because of all this. And the worst part is, I don’t know if talking to anyone about it will solve anything.

matigo.ca.

I’ll be honest, I’m not sure. I don’t even know if I want to go through with it yet. I’ve spoken to other team leaders and they all say the same thing: “don’t worry, everything will fall into place as it happens”. I guess I just have a shit team leader.

matigo.ca.

I’m not dealing at all well at the moment. I’ve had too many days this week where I’ve burst into tears on the train home. And all because of the day job. I am very tempted to request to change teams because I can’t handle the negative energy. No matter how much I turn a blind eye to it, deep down it affects me badly. And knowing that I can’t ask for help from anyone but one person in the team is dragging me down too. At the same time I’m tempted to just keep my head down and not say a word.

yeah, I needed it though.

matigo.ca.

How bad is this: it’s just after 9pm AEST and I’m about to dive into a krispy kreme donut and a cup of tea. After 2 days of intense frustration at the day job with 2 more to spare, I think I need it. It will probably be my last as I make an attempt to get back to healthy eating.

There are so many parts I agree with. On one hand you have 90% of people are awesome and they’re so grateful for your assistance but there’s that 10% they warned you about at technical training, the nasty people that stick with you for a while afterwards. As far as KPIs go, I think that’s what’s stressing me out the most at the moment. No matter how many people say not to worry about that stuff it’s very hard not to at times. I don’t know how many silent anxiety attacks I’ve had over productivity and how many cases I can close in a day. I am my own worst enemy at times, I get that. But I’m getting better at dealing with it though, which is the main thing.

streakmachine.10centuries.org.

Absolutely! And out of all the blah blah blah trying to figure out how I can actually help them at the end of it all. Man, I’m glad I’m on processing tomorrow and Friday but schedules can usually change in 15 minute intervals.

matigo.ca.

I never realised until now how mentally draining being on inbound calls all day can be. The most interesting part is talking to people from all walks of life. I’ve got a fair bit of processing work to do over the next couple days that I’m hoping to get done. Hopefully I can pull down new work next week instead of working with the horrible shit I have to work with now.