There was a time back in 2013 where I was seeking professional help, but I wasn’t diagnosed as having anxiety or clinical depression back then. I haven’t had many anxiety attacks since then but I think right now it’s because of my current situation that it’s making me spiral out of control. If I could afford to seek professional help, I would definitely go down that road again.

Thanks Joe. Still working on my Zelda 5 panel at the moment but I have a nice setup now where I can do more than one project at a time. Thinking of starting a custom painting I got as a present for my mum. I’ve got until the beginning of December to do it.

Thanks mate, getting there slowly but surely. I have my study, diamond painting, job searching and to a lesser extent my gaming to keep me going.

Slowly but surely. It’s designed to relieve stress and anxiety, which is what I like about it. I could lose myself for hours doing it and that’s the best part. I feel like it will be a good mechanism to snap me out of it at those times where things get me down. It’s those times where I can’t snap myself out of it where it takes a while for me to recover.

Thank you Peter. I definitely hit my lowest point and it’s tough to come back from it but I’m getting there, slowly.

I’ve been kinda laying low for a while, just focusing on building my sense of self, especially after my massive anxiety attack a week or two ago. That wasn’t a fun experience and one I never want to have again.

I know exactly how that feels. In recent weeks I’ve become quite the night owl.

Aww, it’s ok. Once she sees the thought and hard work I put into doing these, she’ll soon change her mind about the whole thing. I’m not spending beyond my means cause I’m always looking for bargains so I figure if it makes me happy, I’ll continue to do it.

Conversation with mum earlier, while I’m organising the 2 days worth of China Mail1 I got:
Mum: When are you going to stop buying these?
Me: Probably never, why?
Mum: Well can you at least finish some of the ones you have first?
Me: Yeah, of course. These ones2 won’t take long to finish anyway. And plus I have enough storage now I can do more than one at the same time.
Mum: Hmph, yeah ok I guess (and walks off)

What she doesn’t realise is that two of these paintings are actually for her. One will most likely to be delivered tomorrow and the other is in transit.


  1. This is what we diamond painting enthusiasts call the mail we get as they are mainly manufactured in China

  2. The partial paintings I got

It does. You can get them in round or square diamonds. Round is much faster and square is a lot more fiddly and time consuming. It does help with anxiety though. I feel like I’m in a different world while I’m working on my paintings.